Feeling--emotional
Reading-- Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye, by Victoria Laurie
I'm grateful for-- privacy for a good, cleansing cry

Life constantly changes, but you know... How else will we grow if everything remains the same?
~my current Facebook status~

You'd think by now I'd be used to changes in my family and be able to "go with the flow" whenever they come up.

But I'm not.

Oh, I accept them--those that aren't easy or happy and exciting--with resignation, and I hope with a stoic manner, though that doesn't always happen. At times like these, it's hard to just "go with the flow." It makes me want to rebel, turn back the clock, do anything I can to stave off the inevitable change just a lil while longer... *sighs*

Since I turned 21, 22, changes have been happening in my family--the changes of a maturing family: college; missions for my brothers; falling in love, getting married and moving out; starting new families. I'm the only one home now, and this Thursday one more change will happen. Mike and Jen will head out with their kids for Virginia, where Mike now lives and has a job. The phase of having them here in Rexburg, where they can come over anytime will be over. No more Sunday dinners with Jen and the kids, no more babysitting when Jen does a session at the temple. (I better stop before the tears blur my vision, as they're threatening to.) They wish they could stay in the Intermountain West; all Jen's family (except for one of her brothers and his family) are in here in the West as we are. But the only good job Michael could get was the one in Virginia. So, to Virginia they're goin'. They don't know how long they'll be there, but they both feel they won't move back this way again. Who knows??

This move is reminding me of the one Mom made with Mike and me after the divorce. We left Texas and moved to Idaho for good, where Mom has raised us. I missed seeing Nan and Paw Paw and Grannie as often as I used to. Nan became a voice I talked to on the telephone and a loving person/relative who would spoil me and buy me toys on the odd occasion we went to see the Texas Bunch or she and Paw Paw came out to see us. I missed growing up with my Texas cousins, as I'm sure Cannon and Ada are going to miss being with their Utah cousins.

"When you are sorrowful
look again in your heart,and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which
has been your delight."
~Khalil Gibran, The Prophet~

So true... Times change, as they always must, but oh! I wish I could just grab my brothers and sisters and their families and keep them close to me! I wish I could watch my niece and nephews grow and change with every phase they go through, but, that's impossible.

And in the next few years, more changes are gonna come my way. It's getting harder for Mom and Dad to be my care providers, so Kami's going to take over the role. Starting next year, Mom's going to ease Kami into the "job." And, when she and Clayton build their log home up on "The Farm," Kami wants me to move in with them. So it looks like I might be moving back to Poky in several years. *ironic chuckle* And I once swore I would never go back to Poky and live!

On a much happier ending note, there is one change I'm thrilled about: Kami's due at the end of May. I'll be an auntie again.

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The Writing's on the Wall
02-16-2010 Poems By Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning
02-17-2010 Entertaining Myself With Tyburns
02-18-2010 Affair With Shoes and Pudding Newsletter
02-19-2010 Night of the Techniques
02-22-2010 New Design / Do the Attic

moon phase